In today’s world, it is believed that praising your child’s good behaviour makes them more disciplined. Punishment is generally avoided and rewards are preferred by modern-day parents for the children.
Reward system supported by studies:
The rewards method is backed up by several studies and research. Psychologists discovered that they could train animals with rewards so why not humans. They started applying similar principles to humans. This enabled the psychologists to manipulate thoughts, emotions, and behaviour of the children. However, rewards given on a regular basis are found ineffective in the long run. Children who grow up with regular praises and rewards feel crushed once you stop rewarding them.
Effects of reward system on child’s behaviour:
Different studies suggest that expectation of rewards suppress the creativity of students and results in poor quality of work. Rewards discourage them to take any risks in terms of creativity. The children do not take any challenges when they expect rewards and try playing safe. They put little effort in performing the task. The reward system makes your child feel judged and evaluated. It does not make them feel supported. The rewards might increase the activity but it kills the enthusiasm and passion to perform that task.
Effects of punishment on child’s behaviour:
Punishment escalates conflicts. It results in shutting down the learning phase of children. It imitates the flight or fight response, the children stops thinking and plans for the basic defense mechanism. Punishments make your child rebellious, angry or shameful. It represses their feelings and they try hiding things from their parents.
Do rewards damage your relationship with your child?
• The children start performing things in order to impress the parents for rewards. It lacks self-motivation in a child and results in addictive behavior.
• Praising the child’s potential on a regular basis can result in disappointment if they fail to reach our expectations.
• Regular rewards make the child used to receiving praises, he or she might feel inadequate once the praises stop.
• When you continuously bribe the children for rewards, they start manipulating us by showing their good side. They become compliant in order to impress us rather than being honest.
How can you treat your child without punishment and rewards?
The concept of rewards and punishments is completely based on negative thoughts about children and how to control them. You need to encourage and shape your children with positive intentions. Observe your kids for being capable in performing all the tasks, cooperate with them, and encourage them to work hard with team spirit. Listening to our kids can ultimately change their behaviour. Kids don’t show tantrums without any reason. It is better to address those issues and helps your kids by listening to them.
What rewards and punishment can you apply on your child?
For rewards, you can give them things that they love and are useful. You can allow them to spend some quality time with their friends or spend some extra time in their favourite hobbies. If your child loves spending time with you, give them some extra time as a reward. Show them affection to encourage their behaviour.
For punishments, instead of beating them you should give timeouts as a punishment. Ask them to think about their bad behaviour so that they realize and talk to them about their behaviour, listen to their feelings or spend some time with them.
Punishments and rewards are generally conditional but our positive regards and love for the children are unconditional. Continue to show love and concern, listen to your children and trust your parenting instincts!